Blessings

I often fall asleep with channel 936 on – that is a music channel: Contemporary Christian.

Lately I have nightmares or sad dreams more often.  Sometimes, like a child, I sleep the rest of the night with a light on.  But every once in awhile, I wake, and a song begins to play on channel 936 that just wraps me up.

Last night I was lost.  I had to walk home; it was a long walk.  But I couldn’t find my house.  I would make all the correct turns up to a point, and then the houses looked completely unfamiliar, and I knew I had passed my house, but I couldn’t find it. I needed to find it because I needed to find someone.  I couldn’t find that someone either.  I can’t remember all the particular details or the overall “plot,” but I knew I had no home and had no someone…because I couldn’t find them.  And I somehow knew even if I ended up on the correct street, in the end…they would be somewhere else.  I was frightening, and when I woke I felt confusion and fear…and grief.  Helplessness.  Lack of control.

And as I rolled over and tried to get comfortable, this song came on.  I’ve posted it before, but something about it always comforts me and gives me hope that there is a reason for the things I regret, wish I could change, cannot understand hurt over…and that maybe one day….I’ll see the blessing I can’t seem to see yet.

“Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning”

We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
And all the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

‘Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your word is not enough
And all the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we’d have faith to believe

‘Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not,
This is not our home
It’s not our home

‘Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near

What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

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