I must say at the first, I am not an expert in men. Typing that actually gave me a chuckle. Even at midlife, they are mostly a mystery to me, and I am reminded of that quite often.
But I do know, I think, one thing. I know that many women underestimate the importance of the theme in the above quote. I think many women do not understand the power of their words…and their attitudes toward the men in their life.
I admit, I cringe at many of the television show I see. I think Everybody Loves Raymond was one of the worst. The man is so often portrayed as clueless, a buffoon, someone that the sarcastic and “longsuffering” wife has to keep in line or put up with. Such an unfortunate model.
We tend to think of men, even in 2015, as these strong, logical, matter-of-fact creatures who are immune to hurt and emotion, whose sole job is to take care of us. I do not mean that in the way that makes people cringe – like a wallet. I mean women often expect the man in their life to take care of their emotional well-being, and they forget to take care of his.
We have power in our words. We have power in our spirits. We can tell the man we love why we love him and make him soar. We can believe in him, makes his dreams our dreams, and watch him stand up straighter. Sadly, we can also chip away at his sense of self with nagging, belittling, complaining, criticizing, and withholding support and affection.
There is something about letting the man you love see himself through your eyes that is empowering for both parties. Telling the man you admire just how much you admire him is not just a gift, I think it is a responsibility. We need to speak life into the man we love. Peace, strength, support, confidence, and desire. And not just in those early, chemical-filled days. Every day, every month, every year that we are together.
After all, if we cannot feel and see and speak just how remarkable he is to us, then why are we with him?