Today’s post was prompted by the following blog:
The question prompt was this: What do you find most amusing about life?
Now, I admit I tend to find life extremely amusing at times. But this particular question on this particular day was just too good to pass up. Yes, I ended a sentence with a preposition. Call it poetic license. It doesn’t look like a poem, you say? It’s a prose poem. There. By the way……why are you so interested in the syntax of my posts? Have you been speaking with my old English professor? Aha! I remember now that the owner of the coffee shop here asked me quite a bit about my writing a couple of months ago. She was a plant, wasn’t she? A clever plant being used by you to subvert my attempts to capture the attention of Random House……..I KNEW it!
Okay, so that was a bit bizarre. But really, I have to admit that today I am amused by what I like to call conspiracy junkies. In church, we used to call them demon addicts – those people who saw a “demon under every doily” and who were always looking to cast out the spirit of fill-in-the-blank. Now, I have no doubt that there may be any number of conspiracies going on throughout the world at this very moment. Conspiracies to murder someone, to rob a bank, to take down a corporation….heck, even planning a surprise party is a sort of conspiracy. But….I honestly do not believe that any of these conspiracies involve me. Why? Because I simply do not believe I am THAT important. I mean, if others have lives, they have actual real literal things to do each day. They probably don’t have the time, energy, or inclination to make an elaborate plan out of playing cat and mouse with me.
In sixth grade, three girls did not like me. They more than did not like me. They whispered about me, made fun of me, and put “mean notes” inside my desk. Was this a conspiracy? Perhaps. But really……what was I going to do about it? Call the police? We were 11. By the end of the year we were all best friends. This same scenario sometimes plays out when we are adults as well. Not everyone likes us. Sometimes people say bad things about us. Sometimes people say bad things TO us. The likelihood that any of these people have a spearmint gum statue of us long with our social security number and daily schedule in a secret room of doom is……….probably pretty low.
So today I find conspiracy theories amusing. But what do I know? I think we actually DID go to the moon……